When arriving at a break up, it is usually not a mutual decision. If you feel the relationship can be reconciled and are asking “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?”, then the answer is often Yes, when she feels the conditions are right.
- First Things First
Going through a break up is a painful, stressful time. People say and do things from the emotional overload that should not be said or done. The first step to get your ex girlfriend back is to reflect on your past behavior and apologize for any of these emotional outbursts. You must be totally sincere about your past behavior and truly sorry that they happened. It is amazing how this can reduce the stress between the two of you.
- Show Her You Still Care
When trying to reconcile your relationship, you must be very aware of your actions and the reaction they produce. The odds of getting back together with your ex improve when you do the right things, but decline when you do the wrong things. Show her that you still care, but watch her gestures and body language. If you notice that she becomes tense or angry, it is time to use a different tactic.
You can try buying flowers, candy or a card, but watch for the reaction they cause. Sometimes these gifts are not received well because anyone can run down to the store and buy them. See if you can tell what would show her that you care. Try putting more effort into the gift. You could pick some fresh flowers and arrange them yourself. What about buying a blank card? That way you take the extra effort and write how you feel about her. This may be more appealing than a prefabricated, generic verse that the greeting card companies came up with.
- Show Her That You Are Thoughtful
When someone is thoughtful of your needs or feelings, it makes you feel good. It seems to be a common thought that men, in general, are not thoughtful. So, how often during your relationship did you do something thoughtful for your partner? If you are asking “Help me reconcile my relationship”, being thoughtful can be a very positive step and positive steps add up over time. Now do not expect that things will change overnight just because you are being thoughtful. This is just one step to getting back together.
All right, now it is time to honestly examine the level of thoughtfulness you showed during your relationship. If you were not very thoughtful during the relationship, or at least not very thoughtful just prior to the break up, you want to be subtle about thoughtful gestures. If it appears you are being overly thoughtful now, she may not believe that you really mean it. Do not be upset if this happens, just stay the course. You will need to be patient. Remember that you are being thoughtful because it makes YOU feel good. This is not some empty gesture just to get her back. This is about showing her how you honestly feel about her.
- What If I Start Dating Other People?
As you can imagine, this is not an easy question to answer. It depends on the amount of time since the break up and where you are in reconciling your relationship. If the break up happened recently and your goal is to get your girlfriend back, it is probably not the right time to start dating other people. This will probably NOT show your girlfriend that you want to get back together.
If it has been quite a while since your break up and reconciling your relationship is progressing slowly, having a casual date could be a harmless way to make her re-think her relationship with you. She may be thinking that SHE should be your date.
- What If She Is Seeing Someone Else?
Well, I have to say that if your ex girlfriend is seeing someone else and it is more than just a casual relationship, it will be much more difficult to get her back. In this case the plan needs to change. You are now not just trying to get her back, but you need her to see that she would be happier with you. Again, Be patient.
While your ex girlfriend may be seeing someone else now, that does not mean it is game over for you. If you feel strongly about getting your ex girlfriend back, continue to send her a card every so often. Just keep the message casual. Wish her a good weekend, or hope that things are going well for her. This should be a message you send to a friend, not an ex lover. She may really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
- Have A Goal And Have A Plan
I have been in this situation my friends and it is nerve-wracking. If you say or do the wrong thing, you will push her even further away. If you are too aggressive showing her you care, she will become annoyed. Remember that this is a step by step process.
There are secrets to get back together, but there are many steps on this path and many secrets to learn. If you are asking “Help Me Reconcile My Relationship”, my best advice is to learn as much as you can about the stages of getting back together. The more you can learn from people who have successfully gone through the process, the better you can plan for your own success story. So to answer your question “Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?” the answer if often Yes, provided you learn about the stages in the process and have a step by step plan.