Five Relationship Killers and What To Do About Them

Relationships break up for dozens of reasons, but an astute observer can look for patterns in the thousands of break-ups which happen every day in our world – and in those patterns one can find hope. That's because they provide us with clues about what any guy can do or how any man can act to make a girlfriend come back to him.

There are so many major relationship booby traps; It's difficult to settle on just a few. But let's just dig in, choose five of the most vexing break-up factors, and take a closer look at them. Knowledge is power. By examining common relationship break-up factors and by shining light on them, men can not remember ways to repair relationships, and to get an ex-girlfriend back. So let's get started.

One: "I Just Need to Be More Independent"

As wonderful as a relationship can be, many people start taking their relationship for granted anyway. Even a great relationship takes a certain amount of work while you're in it. And so some people start thinking about independence. They forget what it is like to be "out there and alone." They start thinking that an unattached lifestyle seems easier than being "weighed down" by a current relationship. They just want to try being "free" again.

It's natural for most people to want as much independence as possible. On the other hand, just about everyone romanticizes how great 'total freedom' is, especially when they think they do not have it. It's the old 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome. When they are in a relationship, they want out – yet when they do not have a relationship, they want back inside!

The solution: You simply have to give your ex some time to realize what it is really like to be alone again. The majority of the time, they find out fast that being in a relationship was nicer, than being free. Yes, they might form a relationship with someone else instead of coming back to you – but you can not control that. In fact, the more you try to control it, the worse you can make things. Just let your ex-girlfriend experience "independence" for a while. After a few weeks, find out if all this freedom feels more like "loneliness" to her. Very often it does, and your ex may come back to you.

Two: "I'm in love with someone else."

This is the most heartbreaking reason for anyone to break up with another. It's devastating when someone you love and care about tells you that they have developed romantic feelings for someone else. If you're feeling tremendously emotional pain over this situation, well, then you're expressing normal feelings. It hurts! Do not deny it! Also, strive to never channel your hurt and anger into destructive behavior. For example, you may be attempted to sabotage the relationship your ex looks to be pursuing with another. That will only make things worse.

It's a much smarter idea to fight fire with fire. That is, you should start seeing someone else as soon as you can. Your ex-girlfriend is seeing someone else. So should you. Why? Because you need to show your ex that he or she is not the only one who has "other options."

This is a more positive proactive way to deal with your emotional pain. Sharing your situation with another person is better than facing it alone. But the ultimate benefit you will get from this strategy is that it may bring your ex-girlfriend back! Dating someone else will cause a variety of effects in the mind of your ex.

First, he or she will see that you are not simply going to sit around and pine away for lost love. You're a positive person who accepts reality. You have the strength to move on and recover quickly. That puts you in a positive light. Second, it will create jealousy in your ex. Yes, they may have fallen for someone else, but their feelings for you can not go away just like that. Even if she is with a new person now, she will be forced to confront her feelings about you when she sees you with someone else. Seeing someone else may not be easy for you for – granted. But nothing about busted relationships ever is easy.

Three: "I'm not attracted to you physically anymore."

The first thing you should ask yourself if loss of physical attraction is the reason for your breakup is: Why should this be true? Look at the obvious first. Did you let yourself go once you became comfortable in your relationship? Maybe you earned 20 pounds – maybe 50. Or maybe you let something else go. You stopped grooming yourself to look your best, or stopped wearing with style and class. If this is the case, maybe your ex-girlfriend has a valid case. You presumed that your ex would "love you no matter what." Maybe she even told you that – only to start feeling differently when the attractive person they first fell in love with is now an out of shape slob!

The solution is painfully obvious: Get back in shape! Have enough respect for yourself and your ex to make every effort to look your best, look sexy and be the kind of person she will be proud to be seen with in public. No excuses!

Of course, some people fall out of physical attraction to you for less obvious reasons, and which may actually be subjective psychological reasons. Perhaps they are just bored, and feel they want more variety in terms of physical attractiveness. However, if you're still the same person that you were physically when you started your relationship with your partner, the idea that you are no longer "physically attractive" may only be the outgoing excuse pointing to a defect problem. Think it over.

Four: "I just can not take the nagging anymore!"

Ah yes, that word women love to hate. "Nag." No woman wants to be called a nag, or even to think that they are a persistent "nagger." But can men be naggers, too? Sure they can. However, fairly or unfairly, nagging is an activity most often associated with women. To be honest, it is difficult to define what constituents nagging, and what is an appropriate amount of constructive criticism? Whatever the case, one thing is clear: No one likes to be nagged or criticized, even when they deserve it! Here's the bottom line. Every person needs to simply put a lid on 95% of all nagging. It does not matter how difficult or impossible this might seem – nothing corrodes a relationship like the powerful acid of nagging. Couples simply must learn to stop shopping on and criticizing, or face the consequences. If you choose to nag even when you feel you have every right to – that's tough! Knock it off! You will never get your ex back until you convince that person that you have stopped nagging, or at least keep nagging to an absolute minimum.

Of course, if your ex has already left, curbing the nagging habit may be too little, too late. However, you can be sure you'll never get your ex back if you do not stop nagging. So step one is to stop nagging. Decide to never nag again. If you can conquer the nagging habit, you are putting yourself in a position of strength to start the healing process of your relationship. If you do not stop nagging, all your future relationships are in jeopardy as well. Learn from your mistakes!

Five: "Why can not you be more like him / her?"

One of the most destructive blows to a relationship is when one partner constantly compares the other to some other person, who always looks so smart and perfect. "Bill makes $ 75,000 a year! You're just as smart as him. Why can not you make that kind of money?" Or, so-and-so works out in the gym every day and stays slim and sexy. Why can not you! "Imagine being on the receiving end of statements like that not just once, but many times.It devastates the self-esteem of your partner. If they decide to walk out on the relationship, they have every right. If your ex walked out on you, and the last thing they said to you was: "I guess I'm just not as good as so-and-so, and I guess I will never be!" The mirror and tell yourself that it was you who drove a stake through the heart of your relationship. If you want your ex to come back to you, you've got your homework laid out for you. Your ex to someone supposedly "better."

Source by Tommy Sjoberg

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